New Number One Rule

Never EVER talk with coworkers about current strategies to get into biking or get healthier. You would think that I would have learned this. But when the coworker starts talking about how she got on her bike for the first time this season and went 20 miles...

There's no kudos for a 3.5 mile ride. You can't even make it the 5 miles to go all the way around Lake Harriet? Pshaw.

This is what I fight against when I try to get myself going. No. I can't. I can't just *push through it*. To do so is to invite injury upon myself because that is what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I try that in my exercise program. There's no understanding, and there's a bit of condescension when trying to talk about it. That's not encouragement.

I need to stop when my body says stop. Because it's not a little bit of leg soreness I risk, it's having to lay down for 3 days straight because my back can't handle it.

These are the people who picked on me in gym class. Fuck them. It's a victory just feeling well enough to go out there. To go 2 miles. To move at fucking all.

Now maybe if I tell myself that enough I'll actually believe it. I'd rather go in the bathroom at work and cry.