Friday, March 26, 2010

Not much new today

I haven't started on the bean additions yet. The plan is for a salad at lunch with chickpeas! I forgot to do my hummus, but I will be making some to share with friends tomorrow. I love me some hummus.

I did also do the measurements of myself instead of weighing myself this morning. There's something satisfying about seeing that in the last month, your hips have reduced by 3 inches, your waist by 1, your thighs by 1 each...

I can even feel the difference in my skin. And that's a good thing.

Tomorrow morning, some of the frozen fruits for a happy smoothie. Complete with soy protein.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bump in the road

Well, I think I ran across my first intolerance.

I had a small bag of potato chips at lunch yesterday. Everything seemed extra sharp and defined afterwards and I was more sensative to light. Also my joints that hadn't been aching started aching as well. Essentially it is looking like potato has a potential migraine trigger effect for me. We're going to try them again tonight, but I'm not optimistic.

Then for dinner we had rice pasta with red sauce. Mmmm tomatos. Except it felt like my entire GI tract was on fire as a result. Sore throat, upset stomach, unhappy lower GI, a mild *fever*, and I'm still feeling like crap this morning. Which makes me wonder if I just managed to catch something during this, with the whole fever thing, but I won't be able to try this again until after we finish testing everything.

Foo. Foo, I say. No paella for me. No Italian, no Mexican, no so many of my staples. It would explain why I felt like such crap all the time though.

Ugh. I wish I were back in bed.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Venturing into the land of Soy

Well, post lemons, we started with tamari. OMG that has completely opened up a whole realm of flavor. Like fried rice! I love tamari, more so than soy sauce. It is the liquid created from the fermentation that creates miso. So I get to enjoy the salty joy of it. No problems with that.

I sped ahead on half way through day 3 getting myself a soy protein shake thing to have at work when I need extra proteins. It's desperately gross. But helpful at least because it does fill me up. I don't think I'll be bothering much with it unless I'm making smoothies.

This morning I got to create a tofu scramble and "home fries" made out of sweet potato. Both tasty, though I think I need to practice the sweet potato one. The tofu scramble was yummy, but still kinda tofu-flavored. I think I need to be heavier on the spices for that one.

The weather had been great, but I had too much other stuff going on at home to be able to bike during the day after dinner. I can't wait for it to be light enough for that. And now it has gotten cold again. Tomorrow should be nice, so I should be able to bike tomorrow in the afternoon for a while. I miss the bike.

And in other fabulous news, I'm just about on goal for weight loss by my birthday. Well, I made my weight loss goal more in line with the rate that I'm actually losing now. And that's 5 pounds heavier than I wanted. But meh, 4 more pounds in 18 days, I think that's a reasonable goal to have by my birthday. And if I'm not quite there, well, I'm okay with that too. The point is that as the weight comes off, I feel better and more able to move, so it comes off more easily if I exercise. I haven't measured my body though. I should do that to check how that's changing. I bet it would be more satisfying than the typical ~2.0 pounds a week.

I do love how it is just melting off though. I really like that a lot. I have to remind myself, if I have a dramatic weight gain, it is likely due to something I added back. PiC has also dropped about 15 pounds himself, being a guy. OSO mentioned today what she was at too, and that was a good level though I'm not sure what volume of poundage that is. Though apparently her bras aren't fitting as well, poor thing. We're going to wait just a little bit and then go get her another one.

It is so much easier to lose weight when the whole house is eating healthier food.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I Less Than Three Lemons and Bikes

I believe that they are what has kept me from going insane now. My food had FLAVOR today. I went so far as last night I ate a whole cooked lemon slice I was so in love with the lemony goodness. No adverse reactions to them, though I'm have a weird fluttering on the right side of my waist. Not sure what that is all about.

I'm dropping about 2.5 pounds a week according to my FitDay tracker. A little higher than is healthy, but I also had the first jump start of water weight in that, so I think I'm still ok. I spent a good portion of today rearranging things in my room and the bathroom so that the apartment is a little cleaner. And we can get to the scale more reasonably.

It is the first gorgeous day out today. So it's the second day that we went out biking. The trails were dry, if gritty. But it was lovely out. And I was winded by the end of it.

Now this is where the critic in me starts going on about how I should have been able to go further. That I used to bike all the time as a kid and would go for miles, and this was a measly half hour of biking. Then PiC and OSO pointed out that we probably went a couple of miles. I was skeptical. But then I went and looked up how far it was that we biked. And yup, down to that intersection it's a mile, so we biked for two miles. It went so *quick*.

Ok, I'm not the most strenuous biker, and by the time we got back, PiC was asking if he could go out again, but it's time to start on dinner so we had to say no he couldn't go out for longer. But maybe we'll let him afterwards. :)

But 2 miles. 145 calories. That's as good as my time on the Wii some nights, so I'll take it. I may even try to go out on my own this week to try to build up my stamina so we can be out for longer as the season goes on. It would be super cool if we could bike to the falls, picnic, and come back.

But 2 miles. I biked 2 miles. And it was awesome.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Last day of nothingness

Tomorrow morning marks two weeks on this crazy elim diet thing. And the day that we start adding things back in. Starting with Lemons and Limes. I only failed twice. Once by accident when I put olives on my salad.

Once by completely just having a "fuckitall" moment when I put two splashes of vinegar on my salad because I just couldn't cope with the taste of dirt again. I tried to grab the thing that I thought would least mess with the detox and go for a minimal amount. But I would have completely broken down crying that day if I hadn't. No obvious adverse reactions to it though.

I feel like few people know what this has been like. I could be wrong, maybe far more people are used to diets like this and my priviledge is just showing through. I'm just excited that my food is going to have some Flavor again. Even on Weight Watchers I wasn't this obsessed with food.

The smell of pizza makes me want to weep.

That lemon and dill fish and lime vinegrette salad tomorrow is going to be the tastiest freakin' fish and salad I have ever eaten. Ever.

Weight loss has slowed significantly. I'm okay with that. It looks like it's about a pound a week now. It has rained pretty much every day since we biked last Sunday. I'm not as okay with that. I still feel like I kept to the spirit of things even if I failed at keeping to the exact letter. And I never ever ever have to be on this restrictive of a diet again.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


I wonder if I should be worried that my cravings are not getting better, they're getting worse.

Today's it's for Greek food. I want a gyro and spinach pie.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

physical changes

One thing that I'm finding I really like about this is I'm finding I'm sleeping a hell of a lot better. As in my insomnia is just about gone. I'm not having problems falling asleep, I'm dreaming pretty regularly, and I would sleep longer if I had the time to in the morning. To almost 7 on weekends even.

I'm still a bit tired, but I feel otherwise rested. Sleep disturbances are going to be one thing that I very distinctly pay attention to as we start adding in food. I didn't think this would be quite so dramatic in this regard. Maybe others, but this is downright nice.

My general congestion does not seem to have gone down though. Which is making me think that it is likely the cats that I have a slight allergy to. I can't think of any other particular allergen that I am dealing with, so it would make for a good candidate. Which means needing to seriously clean the apartment and figure out how to keep it clean going forward. And unless things shift very dramatically with food, I'm not going to be able to use that as a gauge.

The last thing that is problematic, however, is that the muscle tension has significantly gone up as the joint pain has gone down. As in my right shoulder has been seized up for something going on 3 days now. I cannot get it to relax for anything, and I may have to resort to taking some herbal relaxants that I have so as to get some relief for it. It seriously hurts to distraction. There's a few more days on the detox section, just through Friday. I'm hoping I can also get a massage in there. That would help a bunch.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Shifting Sands

So, one week and one day down. It has been one hell of a week as well. A number of other things have come to a head in my personal life that in theory have absolutely nothing to do with the cleanse that I'm on.

What I'm finding fascinating is how one handles change and crisis and the like when many of the typical crutches are removed. I can see from here that I use some of my epicurean tendencies to avoid the things that I find unpleasant. Or recover from them.

I've gotten two pieces of news that I really didn't want this week that creates quite a bit of stress in two different environments I spend an awful lot of time in. In both instances, my typical response would have been a fabulous dinner, a bottle of wine or a equally fabulous cocktail, and completely tuning off and forgetting about whatever it is that is causing me stress until I have to go and deal with it in person. Often with whatever I have in my head at that point instead of thinking through a response.

I don't get that luxury now. Though I will admit I had an almost tantrum because I couldn't do whatever it is that I wanted. I didn't toss it all aside like I was tempted to do. But the more that I do that, the easier it is becoming to not rely on the coping mechanism, feel my emotions fully, and move through it. Well at least I think I'm moving through it. I might just be more upset than otherwise. I can't say at this point.

I was looking for a way to re-engineer my relationship with food. I think this is doing it. I just wish it didn't suck so much. And I still miss fabulous meals and bottles of wine.

No headache today. At least so far. It's the first day that has happened. Made teff muffins yesterday for breakfast today. They were fantastic yesterday. Today... they're a little more like sand. I can't say if that's just my attitude today though. Dinner last night before I went over tasted like dirt too.

Or maybe I just have a bad attitude over all with my lack of habitual coping mechanisms.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


I really miss eggs.

Day 6. Back up as many pounds. And I'm okay with that, if a little confused as to how.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I've stopped feeling like quite so much crap as the last few days. Actually this started some yesterday, though I think staying home from work was the right answer. I wasn't exhausted all day long as a result, and today I feel better enough that work isn't a problem, I think.

But I feel clear. Not quite as energetic as OSO is, but at least better. I am not fond of some of the digestive impacts of this diet. I am so very much looking forward to putting some things back in my diet so it is... more balanced feeling. And so that I don't feel like I have to constantly graze all day long because the moment I stop eating, I'm hungry 20 minutes later.

Being on essentially a vegan diet has also gotten me to the point where I have completely regressed in my emotional regulation to that which I had when I was 18. I'm sure some of that is blood sugar management. But my temper is flash point for sure at the moment and I really dislike that. I got angry/upset no less than 3 times yesterday. I don't want to believe that this is part of the detox. It isn't helping with my family that way. *sigh*

Really, the biggest benefit I have seen thus far is I've dropped 11.8 pounds in 4 days. Actually, I don't think that that's a good thing, that sort of rapid weight loss scares me. Most of it I'm sure is water weight. And I'm grateful that my clothes are fitting again where they weren't at the end of last week. I just... I don't trust it.

Also, I'm certain I won't have mung bean burgers again once I'm past this part of the diet. I'm glad that I've tried it, this is an interesting experiment, but dude.

One thing I'm stressed about: work lunches. As in we have a new hire that we're taking out to lunch on Monday. I'll be in week two of the cleanse part, and I don't want to miss out on the lunch, but I also don't want to screw up my diet. I have to figure out how I'm going to handle this. There's also another member of my team who has found another job and is leaving March 17th, so there might be one to say goodbye to her. I'm going to miss her a bunch and I want to be at the going away things.

One last thing, yesterday since I took off and started feeling better towards the end of the day, and PiC had also taken off, he took me to the bike shop and we found one that fit me really well. It's not pretty. But it fits my body pretty darned well. And I'll find a way to make it pretty. :) So I have a start on doing that as well. Well, at least I have the tools with which to do it. We'll see about getting started on the biking. I want the ice to go away first so I don't kill myself.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Trying New Stuff!

I tried mung beans and amaranth for the first time last night. The amaranth was neat if weird. It turned into a sticky mass of seeds rather than growing that much bigger. It looks like bitty quinoa though. Slight nutty flavor.

The mung beans... They look horrible to me. Taste okay if there's enough extra flavoring, but I have to admit I can't look at it directly while I eat it. It really was my first pretty much entirely vegan day. Who knew you could have a wheat free and soy free vegan diet. Well, I hadn't at least.

I think that the beans would make a really good burger patty though. Stick together nicely. It's just a matter of making sure it's moist enough and flavored well enough. Maybe I can make the amaranth flatbread and then it can be almost burger like. With lots of lettuce.

I'm staying home from work today. I still feel icky, though I'm better today than I was yesterday.

One of the weird side effects is how this is affecting my experience of time. The days are going by super quickly. While I feel like I'm moving super slowly. I don't know where yesterday went.

That's part of what I'm hoping I balance out today because I was not so useful at work at all. I'm really starting to wonder if you can really do this sort of transition when holding down a job.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Day three: The Work Test

Well, I have my brand new lunch box filled with foods I'm allowed and a water filter. I'm pretty much grazing all day. And in the bathroom frequently. The problem with this is I'm not really focused on my work day at all. But at least I'm not hungry like I was at home this weekend.

What really surprises me is both the emotional pull for missing the foods that I love so much (bread and pastries for the most part) and just how much it means to me that I stick to this. Because I think about "Oh, just fuckitall, I'm miserable without and I'm miserable with, I want a fucking donut" and I get upset with myself.

I really want to be a more disciplined person than that. Like that part of my personal image is seriously VERY important to me right now. More than even sabotaging myself. And that surprises me.

I also am reminded that I weighed myself this morning, 2 days after my first weigh-in, and I've dropped 3.5 pounds. I know that's not a stable weightloss. But that's a hell of a lot in only 2 days of eating like this.

But still, all my joints are hurting at the moment. I'm exhausted. I'm feeling exceptionally emotionally needy. And I'm trying to convince myself that this is just part of the detox, that it will get better from today and I am rebuilding my relationship with food into something far more deliberate and healthier for myself.

And seriously. When I feel like 3 (or 4) months is forever and a day away, I need to be present with the fact that I was just saying to myself today "holy crap, how did it get to be March already?"

3 days down. 88ish to go. Gimme another grape.