So, one week and one day down. It has been one hell of a week as well. A number of other things have come to a head in my personal life that in theory have absolutely nothing to do with the cleanse that I'm on.
What I'm finding fascinating is how one handles change and crisis and the like when many of the typical crutches are removed. I can see from here that I use some of my epicurean tendencies to avoid the things that I find unpleasant. Or recover from them.
I've gotten two pieces of news that I really didn't want this week that creates quite a bit of stress in two different environments I spend an awful lot of time in. In both instances, my typical response would have been a fabulous dinner, a bottle of wine or a equally fabulous cocktail, and completely tuning off and forgetting about whatever it is that is causing me stress until I have to go and deal with it in person. Often with whatever I have in my head at that point instead of thinking through a response.
I don't get that luxury now. Though I will admit I had an almost tantrum because I couldn't do whatever it is that I wanted. I didn't toss it all aside like I was tempted to do. But the more that I do that, the easier it is becoming to not rely on the coping mechanism, feel my emotions fully, and move through it. Well at least I think I'm moving through it. I might just be more upset than otherwise. I can't say at this point.
I was looking for a way to re-engineer my relationship with food. I think this is doing it. I just wish it didn't suck so much. And I still miss fabulous meals and bottles of wine.
No headache today. At least so far. It's the first day that has happened. Made teff muffins yesterday for breakfast today. They were fantastic yesterday. Today... they're a little more like sand. I can't say if that's just my attitude today though. Dinner last night before I went over tasted like dirt too.
Or maybe I just have a bad attitude over all with my lack of habitual coping mechanisms.
No comments:
Post a Comment