One other curious thing that I have noticed since introducing sugar back. While it is useful for the properties in cooking etc, I find that I really crave it like I did previously. I don't find myself thinking about it. I don't really want it that strongly, other than in chocolate.
A part of me wonders if this will happen when I test wheat and gluten. I'd like for them to be not as big a deal.
But really if the only thing that happens from this is that I have broken my sugar addiction, I manage to avoid HFCS, and I eat tomatoes only on rare occasion, I think that this whole process has been a win, for as frustrated as it makes me.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Stand Still, Move Forward
My weight has been pretty stable for the last week or so, hovering at the same weight within a .5 pound each way. We also introduced sugar back in, though I'm keeping it limited, so that probably has something to do with it. The side effect of me staying stationary with the weight loss has been that I'm starting to feel kinda... blimpy. Even at 20 pounds lighter than I was 2 months ago. And still at least 3 pounds from my current goal/benchmark.
It's kind of ridiculous, I can see when I look at that objectively. Hell, I can even look at myself in a mirror and see the difference. It doesn't make a difference in my feeling about my body from within my skin. I need to be at least 20 more pounds lighter by the end of the summer, I think. That's with the recognition that it's going to be a hell of a lot more work from here on out. And meaning I'll need a whole new wardrobe for winter.
I didn't get out at all on my bike last week though. I'm not kidding myself that that is disconnected from my current standstill on weight. But today was a gorgeous day and I had time from all the other productive things I've been doing with my time, so I went out alone for a ride, just down to 28th Ave and back along the creek.
Gorgeous day. The trees are blooming though, and pretty though it may be with the orchard like lining of the bike path for stretches, I can feel it in my lungs. 3.6 miles. And when I got back I was wheezing a little bit. Depressed myself with the walk up the hill back to the house again and just feeling exhausted. But then I looked at a time stamp of a Facebook status I made, and it said it had been 26 minutes since that post.
Well, knowing at what stage that I was at in getting out of the house for my ride at that point, I have to say I was out there for at *most* 20 minutes on that bikeride. Which is 10 minutes faster than I had ridden it the last time I did that. Well hell, no WONDER I was out of breath and exhausted when I got back. I sprinted instead of doing endurance biking. But still a good workout at that, and more than I had done before.
So faster, if not longer. I think I can take that as progress. I need to pace myself better during this week, and see if I can make myself go longer then. I want to try a 5.3 mile ride next weekend around Lake Nokomis, even if I have to stop for a while. But I need to see if I can push myself a little further if slower this week. It is supposed to be nice all week, so I have to insist on getting out in the afternoon when I get home. Weekend might not be nice until Sunday. But hopefully there is at least one nice weekend day for my expedition.
And maybe this time next week I can be down 2 pounds again, and closer to goal weight. Well, my current goal weight at least.
As for the elimination diet, I accidentally had HFCS on Friday. You see, I was certain that I knew what went into sushi. What I didn't count on was that the vinegar in the sushi from Macy's downtown had freakin' HFCS in it. I kinda shrugged my shoulders, and moved on, but later that day I started noticing the heart racing/anxiety reaction. I'm fairly certain that the HFCS is the culprit, because regular sugar, and even regular fructose didn't cause that. There was nothing else in the sushi that I hadn't had before.
So I will have to wait until we get to corn at the end of May to find out if it's corn that is the problem or HFCS in particular. All I know is that shit is EVIL.
It's kind of ridiculous, I can see when I look at that objectively. Hell, I can even look at myself in a mirror and see the difference. It doesn't make a difference in my feeling about my body from within my skin. I need to be at least 20 more pounds lighter by the end of the summer, I think. That's with the recognition that it's going to be a hell of a lot more work from here on out. And meaning I'll need a whole new wardrobe for winter.
I didn't get out at all on my bike last week though. I'm not kidding myself that that is disconnected from my current standstill on weight. But today was a gorgeous day and I had time from all the other productive things I've been doing with my time, so I went out alone for a ride, just down to 28th Ave and back along the creek.
Gorgeous day. The trees are blooming though, and pretty though it may be with the orchard like lining of the bike path for stretches, I can feel it in my lungs. 3.6 miles. And when I got back I was wheezing a little bit. Depressed myself with the walk up the hill back to the house again and just feeling exhausted. But then I looked at a time stamp of a Facebook status I made, and it said it had been 26 minutes since that post.
Well, knowing at what stage that I was at in getting out of the house for my ride at that point, I have to say I was out there for at *most* 20 minutes on that bikeride. Which is 10 minutes faster than I had ridden it the last time I did that. Well hell, no WONDER I was out of breath and exhausted when I got back. I sprinted instead of doing endurance biking. But still a good workout at that, and more than I had done before.
So faster, if not longer. I think I can take that as progress. I need to pace myself better during this week, and see if I can make myself go longer then. I want to try a 5.3 mile ride next weekend around Lake Nokomis, even if I have to stop for a while. But I need to see if I can push myself a little further if slower this week. It is supposed to be nice all week, so I have to insist on getting out in the afternoon when I get home. Weekend might not be nice until Sunday. But hopefully there is at least one nice weekend day for my expedition.
And maybe this time next week I can be down 2 pounds again, and closer to goal weight. Well, my current goal weight at least.
As for the elimination diet, I accidentally had HFCS on Friday. You see, I was certain that I knew what went into sushi. What I didn't count on was that the vinegar in the sushi from Macy's downtown had freakin' HFCS in it. I kinda shrugged my shoulders, and moved on, but later that day I started noticing the heart racing/anxiety reaction. I'm fairly certain that the HFCS is the culprit, because regular sugar, and even regular fructose didn't cause that. There was nothing else in the sushi that I hadn't had before.
So I will have to wait until we get to corn at the end of May to find out if it's corn that is the problem or HFCS in particular. All I know is that shit is EVIL.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Definitely no tomatoes
We had pasta last night, with tomatoes cooked and tossed in with the rest of the food.
This morning, I not only have digestive unhappiness still, but I have a splitting headache and ache all over. It's kind of like a hangover, to be honest. And I'm pretty well miserable.
Yup. That would be the problem. *sigh* I'm going to have to figure out how to get over this. Even if I have to do the homeopathy thing to try to mitigate. I will desperately miss them. If it's the only thing, I might try to figure out who to live with it. But.... Great unhappiness.
This morning, I not only have digestive unhappiness still, but I have a splitting headache and ache all over. It's kind of like a hangover, to be honest. And I'm pretty well miserable.
Yup. That would be the problem. *sigh* I'm going to have to figure out how to get over this. Even if I have to do the homeopathy thing to try to mitigate. I will desperately miss them. If it's the only thing, I might try to figure out who to live with it. But.... Great unhappiness.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Dissonance
Strawberries went well yesterday from what I could find, but it was an overall emotional day in other venues. I failed at eating lunch, for instances. So before dinner I had eaten a fruit smoothie and a bottle of apple juice. Dinner I ate limited amounts, and quickly, and not much else.
It meant I lost a pound between yesterday morning and this morning. This is not something I want to repeat though. I don't want to actually be starving myself. I hit a point of losing like 4 pounds in the last week today. That is seriously too fast and not okay. I will probably be up again tomorrow if I eat normal meals today.
Thing is, I'm at a point where while I know that I'm losing weight, I'm not *noticing*. I know it sounds weird. But there was a moment when I woke up one morning and said "I bet I feel like I'm a pound lighter". And I actually was. Now, even though I'm losing weight, I feel the same. I can't tell the results. I'm not seeing the change in the clothes.
It makes me wonder if I'm losing actual weight or messing with water at this point. Am I just dehydrated, etc.
I am at this moment less than I was when I met PiC though. Not to this month's goal weight, but I have 2 weeks to lose 2.5 pounds. Haven't biked yet this week. I think it has been about a week. I need to get out today. Still working on the motivation issues from before.
Is it Friday yet?
It meant I lost a pound between yesterday morning and this morning. This is not something I want to repeat though. I don't want to actually be starving myself. I hit a point of losing like 4 pounds in the last week today. That is seriously too fast and not okay. I will probably be up again tomorrow if I eat normal meals today.
Thing is, I'm at a point where while I know that I'm losing weight, I'm not *noticing*. I know it sounds weird. But there was a moment when I woke up one morning and said "I bet I feel like I'm a pound lighter". And I actually was. Now, even though I'm losing weight, I feel the same. I can't tell the results. I'm not seeing the change in the clothes.
It makes me wonder if I'm losing actual weight or messing with water at this point. Am I just dehydrated, etc.
I am at this moment less than I was when I met PiC though. Not to this month's goal weight, but I have 2 weeks to lose 2.5 pounds. Haven't biked yet this week. I think it has been about a week. I need to get out today. Still working on the motivation issues from before.
Is it Friday yet?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
New Number One Rule
Never EVER talk with coworkers about current strategies to get into biking or get healthier. You would think that I would have learned this. But when the coworker starts talking about how she got on her bike for the first time this season and went 20 miles...
There's no kudos for a 3.5 mile ride. You can't even make it the 5 miles to go all the way around Lake Harriet? Pshaw.
This is what I fight against when I try to get myself going. No. I can't. I can't just *push through it*. To do so is to invite injury upon myself because that is what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I try that in my exercise program. There's no understanding, and there's a bit of condescension when trying to talk about it. That's not encouragement.
I need to stop when my body says stop. Because it's not a little bit of leg soreness I risk, it's having to lay down for 3 days straight because my back can't handle it.
These are the people who picked on me in gym class. Fuck them. It's a victory just feeling well enough to go out there. To go 2 miles. To move at fucking all.
Now maybe if I tell myself that enough I'll actually believe it. I'd rather go in the bathroom at work and cry.
There's no kudos for a 3.5 mile ride. You can't even make it the 5 miles to go all the way around Lake Harriet? Pshaw.
This is what I fight against when I try to get myself going. No. I can't. I can't just *push through it*. To do so is to invite injury upon myself because that is what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I try that in my exercise program. There's no understanding, and there's a bit of condescension when trying to talk about it. That's not encouragement.
I need to stop when my body says stop. Because it's not a little bit of leg soreness I risk, it's having to lay down for 3 days straight because my back can't handle it.
These are the people who picked on me in gym class. Fuck them. It's a victory just feeling well enough to go out there. To go 2 miles. To move at fucking all.
Now maybe if I tell myself that enough I'll actually believe it. I'd rather go in the bathroom at work and cry.
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