Releif

It was a horrid day at work. And since I cannot have booze on the job, I jumped ship. I haven't tested Oats at all during the three days we had scheduled. Instead, today, I went and got myself a Cold Stone Creamery Cheesecake Ice Cream cup. And it was sinful and delicious and I don't care. The worst that it seems the ice cream has given me is gas. If that's the worst of it, then hell, as long as I keep the dairy in moderation, I'm pleased. I'll try oats and millet some other time. I'll keep to the schedule in the household, but I'm otherwise declaring myself done with the elimination diet.

Results: Need Preleif if I'm going to eat tomatoes (found that out with a tagine this weekend). Need to avoid the HFCS and the MSG. Caffeine in moderation and only early in the day. No artificial sweetners at all. My body definitely doesn't want any of those.

Probably should cut back on the wheat and not be so attached to the dairy. And more moderation in the alcohol than I had been as it makes me tired and sloth like. But otherwise, I can eat most things so long as they aren't prepackaged and pay attention.

The payment for such decadence though is I had to bike today. I wasn't really feeling it when I got home. But later, after I had eaten dinner and had a light cocktail (I did say it was a horrid day at work, right?) earlier and sobered up, I went out.

It was a route I've done once before, along Minnehaha Creek, and this time I went all the way up the hill at the end to Lyndale. That is a freakin' awesome hill. Very satisfying to turn around and ride at least half a mile on that speed without having to pedal. 3.6 miles today. All on my own. And I biked up both hills.

I'm thinking that if I get up early enough on Saturday, I should push myself and try to bike around Lake Nokomis. Even if I have to wait for 10 minutes to have my heart rate go down again, I want to go 5.5 miles. My legs were only a little wobbly at the end of this. :-D

It's either that or the Farmer's Market in St Paul. But that might not even be necessary as our CSA starts up this week. Woo!

Resurrection!

Today marks the first time I've been on my bike in almost 3.5 weeks. I've been such a punk. In part I feel like I've been a total slacker. And no wonder I've gained a couple pounds back. But I'm ready to be riding again and hopefully the weather will cooperate more.

It's a gorgeous 70 out today after all.

In any case, I made my first foray to the grocery store a mile away by bike, and hauling groceries back on my back. WooHA that was exhilarating and fun. :) I feel like an honest to gods adult urban BIKER now, running an errand on my bike. Probably added a good extra 3 pounds to my back.

The route is interesting. it's a slight incline most of the way there except for the big downhill by my house and the big downhill by the store. It means I was working during most of it, but got a good start and a satisfying finish on the way there. The way back, it meant that I had two HUGE hills to come up with the extra weight on my back. However, I got to rest for a good period in there as I coasted most of the way home. Even made it up the home hill too and when I hit our driveway I went "What? Already?" because I had thought the hill was bigger. :-D

I definitely feel it though that I haven't been in almost a month of crappy weather or crappy attitude. Must get out again tomorrow. Maybe I an get my light installed and I'll bike to my friends' place for class tomorrow. That could be fun. Though I wonder about the biking at midnight. Without a helmet. Hmm. I'll think on it.

It felt so good to get out there again though. Must. Be. Better. About it.

Unexpected

So, went away for the weekend the same point we got gluten back. Gluten seems to have generally gone well, except for the part where wheat makes one crave more wheat. The big problem of this weekend happened when we went to a Chinese Buffet though, thinking we might be able to eat some of the stuff.

No, we were incredibly ill on Saturday night, and even by Monday I'm still not feeling right. It was pretty immediate and there was way more time than bad reactions had been taking, so I'm pretty sure that it's the Chinese food and not the wheat or the accidental dairy that I had. So I'm guessing that the problem with pizza really was the tomatoes, and not the dairy. Weird. Must be MSG. It's the only thing we can think of.

Much to our disappointment though, there was no biking still. The weather has been just crap. So we drove down there and the bikes stayed on the back of the car the whole flippin' weekend. Not the fab getaway I was hoping for, but it was still lovely to just have some relaxing time with him. I just wish it had been... well... healthier.

update

Still have not managed to get on my bike. The weather has been for crap, and on the nice days I've been incredibly busy as it is. May 1 is a busy busy time for me, with 5 different meanings for me, including PiC and my's anniversary.

Good news is that eggs are not a problem. Nor does yeast seem to be, other than the fact that yeast seems to make me HUNGRY. As in I've eaten more in the last couple of days than I had all up to now; I wonder if this is why I have historically overate.

I'm starting to wonder if maybe my problem is ultimately a candida issue, and this diet that we've been on really hasn't addressed anything like a systemic candida infestation. If I'm still concerned about something like that, then I might try personally removing some of the candida feeding things and see what happens with that in a couple of months. I'm not going to make my family do this again.

This weekend though, PiC and I are headed to New Ulm. There will be a winery, and a brewery, and biking. He's in charge of finding the bike trails we're going to go on. :) I seriously need a break from the cities, so this is going to be good.

Up Da Hill!

After punking out on Monday and Tuesday rides, I decided to go today even though I may need to work tonight. I'm glad I did, it's a flipping gorgeous day, and I saw that my little orchard is starting to bloom with big pink flowers. I give it three days before it has complete erupted in bloom.

But I did my typical 3.6 mile ride. I know PiC thinks me a bit boring for always riding the same way, but to be honest, I can best gauge what my progress is this way. I know what it was like last time, and I know the differences this time.

I went slower, working on pacing myself. My ride was back to 30 minutes. Thing is, there were two major differences. 1) My legs were not exhausted when I got home. I was just starting to feel the burn, which is what led me to try 2) I biked up the hill to our house in the lowest gear. I stopped half way up to catch my breath, but only for 30 seconds or so. And otherwise I biked it. I haven't done that before. And even though my legs are completely made of jello now, I see it as a great measure of my progress.

The weekend is still looking rainy, but maybe there will be time to get out there anyway. I can hope. I definitely should make it out Thursday and Friday just in case Saturday and Sunday are a wash.

Still keeping steady on the weight thing. This is how I push on through. Or not. But if I do, it could end up just being muscles and that's fine too. :)

Stand Still, Move Forward

My weight has been pretty stable for the last week or so, hovering at the same weight within a .5 pound each way. We also introduced sugar back in, though I'm keeping it limited, so that probably has something to do with it. The side effect of me staying stationary with the weight loss has been that I'm starting to feel kinda... blimpy. Even at 20 pounds lighter than I was 2 months ago. And still at least 3 pounds from my current goal/benchmark.

It's kind of ridiculous, I can see when I look at that objectively. Hell, I can even look at myself in a mirror and see the difference. It doesn't make a difference in my feeling about my body from within my skin. I need to be at least 20 more pounds lighter by the end of the summer, I think. That's with the recognition that it's going to be a hell of a lot more work from here on out. And meaning I'll need a whole new wardrobe for winter.

I didn't get out at all on my bike last week though. I'm not kidding myself that that is disconnected from my current standstill on weight. But today was a gorgeous day and I had time from all the other productive things I've been doing with my time, so I went out alone for a ride, just down to 28th Ave and back along the creek.

Gorgeous day. The trees are blooming though, and pretty though it may be with the orchard like lining of the bike path for stretches, I can feel it in my lungs. 3.6 miles. And when I got back I was wheezing a little bit. Depressed myself with the walk up the hill back to the house again and just feeling exhausted. But then I looked at a time stamp of a Facebook status I made, and it said it had been 26 minutes since that post.

Well, knowing at what stage that I was at in getting out of the house for my ride at that point, I have to say I was out there for at *most* 20 minutes on that bikeride. Which is 10 minutes faster than I had ridden it the last time I did that. Well hell, no WONDER I was out of breath and exhausted when I got back. I sprinted instead of doing endurance biking. But still a good workout at that, and more than I had done before.

So faster, if not longer. I think I can take that as progress. I need to pace myself better during this week, and see if I can make myself go longer then. I want to try a 5.3 mile ride next weekend around Lake Nokomis, even if I have to stop for a while. But I need to see if I can push myself a little further if slower this week. It is supposed to be nice all week, so I have to insist on getting out in the afternoon when I get home. Weekend might not be nice until Sunday. But hopefully there is at least one nice weekend day for my expedition.

And maybe this time next week I can be down 2 pounds again, and closer to goal weight. Well, my current goal weight at least.

As for the elimination diet, I accidentally had HFCS on Friday. You see, I was certain that I knew what went into sushi. What I didn't count on was that the vinegar in the sushi from Macy's downtown had freakin' HFCS in it. I kinda shrugged my shoulders, and moved on, but later that day I started noticing the heart racing/anxiety reaction. I'm fairly certain that the HFCS is the culprit, because regular sugar, and even regular fructose didn't cause that. There was nothing else in the sushi that I hadn't had before.

So I will have to wait until we get to corn at the end of May to find out if it's corn that is the problem or HFCS in particular. All I know is that shit is EVIL.

New Number One Rule

Never EVER talk with coworkers about current strategies to get into biking or get healthier. You would think that I would have learned this. But when the coworker starts talking about how she got on her bike for the first time this season and went 20 miles...

There's no kudos for a 3.5 mile ride. You can't even make it the 5 miles to go all the way around Lake Harriet? Pshaw.

This is what I fight against when I try to get myself going. No. I can't. I can't just *push through it*. To do so is to invite injury upon myself because that is what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I try that in my exercise program. There's no understanding, and there's a bit of condescension when trying to talk about it. That's not encouragement.

I need to stop when my body says stop. Because it's not a little bit of leg soreness I risk, it's having to lay down for 3 days straight because my back can't handle it.

These are the people who picked on me in gym class. Fuck them. It's a victory just feeling well enough to go out there. To go 2 miles. To move at fucking all.

Now maybe if I tell myself that enough I'll actually believe it. I'd rather go in the bathroom at work and cry.

Freedom, Joy, and Pain

With my starting to bike, the world seems way smaller AND bigger than I thought it to be. I really like travelling through the world with both speed and awareness. I had forgotten how much I loved biking. I can see this becoming my preferred method of travel on a daily basis.

With all of that though, my back is feeling.... not pained, but a little bit grumpy this morning. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong or need to do differently so that this does not become a block for me.

To the internet for me. I need to not break. Really.

Round and round we go

Survived Chicken just fine. And beans, they were never an issue. I did on the last day of Chicken try Potato and Pepper again, but in smaller doses than I typically have. I suspect that if I have my nightshades very limited, and time it with my cycle properly, that I can have them in small quantities. We'll still try tomatoes again later.

Tonight I'm baking a Turkey breast. So as to have that with lunch tomorrow too. Good, because I'm getting sick and tired of salad. This does not bode well over all.

Mostly, the big news is I'm back on the bike, twice this week. Yesterday I biked 1 mile as I tried to and failed to make it to the store that is 1 mile away. I only made it half way when I realized I had forgotten my lock and so therefore had to turn around. At which point I knew that while I could make it there, I was too tired to make it back easily from the store, and so just drove. There were hills too, so it wouldn't have been an easy mile. We'll try next time.

But today I had more energy. And I biked a little further than I did with PiC and OSO the last time I went out with them. 2.8 miles. I was aiming for 3, but I didn't check my route before hand and I think that worked. I bet if I actually went down to the lake and then back it would have been 3 miles. Ah well, next time. All in all that took me about 30 minutes on my own. And I feel AWESOME. And stinky.

I looked at the map though, and if I can handle biking to, around, and back from the lake, that is 5.5 miles. That's about how much it would take to get to work. And I'd be able to bike commute like PiC does. So now I have the training route I'm aiming for. :)

I did have a small bit of Not Good Enough while biking. I wasn't "dressed" right, I was going kinda slow, but I was out there. And it's going to take time. None of them gave me shit, just wanted me to get over when they were going by faster. And I don't blame them.

Also? It's a lovely 80 out there. Perfect perfect weather. Yeehaw.

Venturing into the land of Soy

Well, post lemons, we started with tamari. OMG that has completely opened up a whole realm of flavor. Like fried rice! I love tamari, more so than soy sauce. It is the liquid created from the fermentation that creates miso. So I get to enjoy the salty joy of it. No problems with that.

I sped ahead on half way through day 3 getting myself a soy protein shake thing to have at work when I need extra proteins. It's desperately gross. But helpful at least because it does fill me up. I don't think I'll be bothering much with it unless I'm making smoothies.

This morning I got to create a tofu scramble and "home fries" made out of sweet potato. Both tasty, though I think I need to practice the sweet potato one. The tofu scramble was yummy, but still kinda tofu-flavored. I think I need to be heavier on the spices for that one.

The weather had been great, but I had too much other stuff going on at home to be able to bike during the day after dinner. I can't wait for it to be light enough for that. And now it has gotten cold again. Tomorrow should be nice, so I should be able to bike tomorrow in the afternoon for a while. I miss the bike.

And in other fabulous news, I'm just about on goal for weight loss by my birthday. Well, I made my weight loss goal more in line with the rate that I'm actually losing now. And that's 5 pounds heavier than I wanted. But meh, 4 more pounds in 18 days, I think that's a reasonable goal to have by my birthday. And if I'm not quite there, well, I'm okay with that too. The point is that as the weight comes off, I feel better and more able to move, so it comes off more easily if I exercise. I haven't measured my body though. I should do that to check how that's changing. I bet it would be more satisfying than the typical ~2.0 pounds a week.

I do love how it is just melting off though. I really like that a lot. I have to remind myself, if I have a dramatic weight gain, it is likely due to something I added back. PiC has also dropped about 15 pounds himself, being a guy. OSO mentioned today what she was at too, and that was a good level though I'm not sure what volume of poundage that is. Though apparently her bras aren't fitting as well, poor thing. We're going to wait just a little bit and then go get her another one.

It is so much easier to lose weight when the whole house is eating healthier food.

I Less Than Three Lemons and Bikes

I believe that they are what has kept me from going insane now. My food had FLAVOR today. I went so far as last night I ate a whole cooked lemon slice I was so in love with the lemony goodness. No adverse reactions to them, though I'm have a weird fluttering on the right side of my waist. Not sure what that is all about.

I'm dropping about 2.5 pounds a week according to my FitDay tracker. A little higher than is healthy, but I also had the first jump start of water weight in that, so I think I'm still ok. I spent a good portion of today rearranging things in my room and the bathroom so that the apartment is a little cleaner. And we can get to the scale more reasonably.

It is the first gorgeous day out today. So it's the second day that we went out biking. The trails were dry, if gritty. But it was lovely out. And I was winded by the end of it.

Now this is where the critic in me starts going on about how I should have been able to go further. That I used to bike all the time as a kid and would go for miles, and this was a measly half hour of biking. Then PiC and OSO pointed out that we probably went a couple of miles. I was skeptical. But then I went and looked up how far it was that we biked. And yup, down to that intersection it's a mile, so we biked for two miles. It went so *quick*.

Ok, I'm not the most strenuous biker, and by the time we got back, PiC was asking if he could go out again, but it's time to start on dinner so we had to say no he couldn't go out for longer. But maybe we'll let him afterwards. :)

But 2 miles. 145 calories. That's as good as my time on the Wii some nights, so I'll take it. I may even try to go out on my own this week to try to build up my stamina so we can be out for longer as the season goes on. It would be super cool if we could bike to the falls, picnic, and come back.

But 2 miles. I biked 2 miles. And it was awesome.

Adjustment

I've stopped feeling like quite so much crap as the last few days. Actually this started some yesterday, though I think staying home from work was the right answer. I wasn't exhausted all day long as a result, and today I feel better enough that work isn't a problem, I think.

But I feel clear. Not quite as energetic as OSO is, but at least better. I am not fond of some of the digestive impacts of this diet. I am so very much looking forward to putting some things back in my diet so it is... more balanced feeling. And so that I don't feel like I have to constantly graze all day long because the moment I stop eating, I'm hungry 20 minutes later.

Being on essentially a vegan diet has also gotten me to the point where I have completely regressed in my emotional regulation to that which I had when I was 18. I'm sure some of that is blood sugar management. But my temper is flash point for sure at the moment and I really dislike that. I got angry/upset no less than 3 times yesterday. I don't want to believe that this is part of the detox. It isn't helping with my family that way. *sigh*

Really, the biggest benefit I have seen thus far is I've dropped 11.8 pounds in 4 days. Actually, I don't think that that's a good thing, that sort of rapid weight loss scares me. Most of it I'm sure is water weight. And I'm grateful that my clothes are fitting again where they weren't at the end of last week. I just... I don't trust it.

Also, I'm certain I won't have mung bean burgers again once I'm past this part of the diet. I'm glad that I've tried it, this is an interesting experiment, but dude.

One thing I'm stressed about: work lunches. As in we have a new hire that we're taking out to lunch on Monday. I'll be in week two of the cleanse part, and I don't want to miss out on the lunch, but I also don't want to screw up my diet. I have to figure out how I'm going to handle this. There's also another member of my team who has found another job and is leaving March 17th, so there might be one to say goodbye to her. I'm going to miss her a bunch and I want to be at the going away things.

One last thing, yesterday since I took off and started feeling better towards the end of the day, and PiC had also taken off, he took me to the bike shop and we found one that fit me really well. It's not pretty. But it fits my body pretty darned well. And I'll find a way to make it pretty. :) So I have a start on doing that as well. Well, at least I have the tools with which to do it. We'll see about getting started on the biking. I want the ice to go away first so I don't kill myself.